frenzy softens the air

I'm reminded of this project I did so long ago maybe in 2014 when I was obsessed with surveillance and Berger-esque watching/being seen: I did what war ships in world war I did to deter being seen which was painting their ships in a method called "dazzle". I did this test on Facebook to see if it would still recognize me and insist on tagging me. I can't remember if it worked or not.

When was the last time you did something that didn't affect you, that didn't involve stroking your ego?



i don't want to be a one trick pony
i dont want to be the one

I picture my mother being 2 years younger than me, pregnant, so in love with my father and alone in Los Angeles. They probably looked very handsome at this age. She would wake up early to open the flower shop, she was showing by now, she probably looked beautiful and happy, albeit bloated. Her church, her faith, her mother all declare her a slut. But she was doing what she wanted and I guess that was me.

I often think about how I am product of a woman's rebellion.

Is this idea something I care about?

My instagram stalker who only speaks to me in Spanish sent me a direct message saying "You seemed happier a couple months ago". I have entertained him before but last night I decided to just delete the message thread.