S. Howe says that poetry is redemption from pessimism. 

i felt perma stoned all day yesterday and i suspect it's the allergies given that i slept 9 hours the night before.

Last night I had a dream that myene and I were sharing a huge room, there was a sliding wooden door in between us. a buffer if you will. we were both in our respective beds when I swung it open (the wooden door). my cat, basket ventured on her side of the room. 

Every 8 months or so I have a dream where myene makes a guest appearance. I wonder what my analyst will make of this dream. 

Maybe I dreamt of her last night because Katie annoyed me yesterday. She demands a lot of attention and gets prideful when she doesn't get it. I hope she didn't take me sending her that agnes martin essay on pride and failure the wrong way...

When we wake up in the morning we are inspired to do some certain thing and we do do it. The difficulty lies in the fact that it may turn out well or it may not turn out well. If it turns out well we have a tendency to think that we have successfully followed our inspiration and if it does not turn out well we have a tendency to think that we have lost our inspiration. But that is not true. There is successful work and work that fails but all of it is inspired

"The function of art work is the stimulation of sensibilities, the renewal of memories of moments of perfection."

During my walk home I called Brian and for the 4th time I told him I can't see him. I've been consistently flaking on our plans and he doesn't deserve it but I don't deserve this pressure either. He let slip: "I fell in love with you so fast." 

That pissesd me off...the comment felt manipulative and I ignored him via text.

I'm going to manifest a dream instead.